Monday, December 24, 2007

i'm the chillax and I speak for the heebs

We celebrated "Santa Claus" in my family until I ruined it. Mom says the rule was we'd celebrate "Santa" and "The Easter Bunny" until the youngest child -- this guy -- was old enough to realize they were big fakes. Someone shoulda told me. I would have ridden it out a lottle longer. Like forever.

I'll say it. I'm jealous of your tree and your stockings and your lights and your prezzies . And your goose . And all that chocolate. I wanna celebrate The Christmas. I'm obviously aware of our similarly-timed holiday; I realize you feel better about yourself when you point this out but dewd. CAMMAN. It's not the same. You know it and I know it -- Chanukah blows and Christmas is FUNmazing. Chakakhanukka can't hold a proverbial candle (or eight --geddit) to your enchanted explosion of Christ-y joy. It's no contest. Picture some apples. Then picture a rocking chair. It's like comparing those.


Got bonked with anticipatory annoyance today on my Orange Sunny run. I'm going to get at least one mass holiday text* tomorrow ("Merry Christmas everyone in my cell phone"). And there's nothing I can do about it.

*or four


Holiday shmelousy aside, I'm having a GREAT day. Super long chillaxing adventure walk in the morning chased with a preposterously cheerful Americano, and reading, under a GORE JUSS sunshiny sky. The temp is perfectly crispy. So. Much. Cleaning. Happened. Here. Wudda day. My stu-stu-studio's generous corner window is framing these iridescent ploofs of lavendar right now. Oh and twenty four hours ago I thought today was a work day. Yup. Totally planning on going into the office. Silly leetle jew.

Around this time of year I'm forever questioning, "Wait, when is Christmas exactly this year (like it changes)? What's the date?" Pathetic. The actual dates of Christmas Eve and Christmas get all oily for some reason -- in my mind they fall somewhere in the range of the twenty first-ish through the twenty sixth-ish. Suppose I could memorize them, but secretly enjoy the annual guessing game -- an essential ingredient for keeping the holitimes funky fresh.


P H said...

"The actual dates of Christmas Eve and Christmas get all oily or some reason"

is this like a jew joke about the oil lamp and chahookanah and what not? cuz it = clevrs, big time.

inthemiddle said...

p-ho my oh my -- you got me. totally wzznt intentional. hey, this reminds me of when we wuz detonating all those nine eleven jokez. whoops. did i just make it real?

P H said...

you made it real

Aparna said...

lemme cresh this lil party burnin the midnight boil.

HELLO MY FELLOWS and can i say as a non participating commercial pagan, i put oil on my bread instead of butter.

sputter sputter