gotta hand it to...

don't know better a.k.a. the blognipotent aparnatronicles of narnia (mastress of the plural huggalug ) for serving up DEES tasty slice of hystericamisu...

PR-eport: fuggedaboutit edition

Not tryin' to brog*, but the desperate race to cure Alzheimer's Disease got a little more adorable today...

*brag+blog**

**toying also with "blag"

h2no

I'm experiencing an a-typical run of happiness this week. On a one to ten scale, kicking it steadily around 7/8, with just one caveat: can't be be happy and hydrated at the same time. Coffee diet orange soda diet root beer coffee diet orange soda. Don’t get me wrong. Water is amazing -- a wonder. A blessing in every bottle . Love the stuff. Just don’t want to drink it.

Trying to remember why it's great, hoping this will inspire me to want to put it in my mouth again. Thinking 'bout how it cleans me (and my fruits and vegetables,etc), rinses the nasty night out of my mouth, how it's all up in the lubricating lotions and potions I soften my skin with every day. It's everywhere all over the place being awesome. Making shit happen. All day every day. So just drink up. Make a go of it. Put it in yer face. Uh uh. Won’t. Can’t. The answer is no.

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Diggin' this oppy-eddy today -- get to the end and (no big) surprise! Obvi I am, cuz it's by Dudester in Chief at Da Week .

i'm the chillax and I speak for the heebs

We celebrated "Santa Claus" in my family until I ruined it. Mom says the rule was we'd celebrate "Santa" and "The Easter Bunny" until the youngest child -- this guy -- was old enough to realize they were big fakes. Someone shoulda told me. I would have ridden it out a lottle longer. Like forever.

I'll say it. I'm jealous of your tree and your stockings and your lights and your prezzies . And your goose . And all that chocolate. I wanna celebrate The Christmas. I'm obviously aware of our similarly-timed holiday; I realize you feel better about yourself when you point this out but dewd. CAMMAN. It's not the same. You know it and I know it -- Chanukah blows and Christmas is FUNmazing. Chakakhanukka can't hold a proverbial candle (or eight --geddit) to your enchanted explosion of Christ-y joy. It's no contest. Picture some apples. Then picture a rocking chair. It's like comparing those.

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Got bonked with anticipatory annoyance today on my Orange Sunny run. I'm going to get at least one mass holiday text* tomorrow ("Merry Christmas everyone in my cell phone"). And there's nothing I can do about it.

*or four

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Holiday shmelousy aside, I'm having a GREAT day. Super long chillaxing adventure walk in the morning chased with a preposterously cheerful Americano, and reading, under a GORE JUSS sunshiny sky. The temp is perfectly crispy. So. Much. Cleaning. Happened. Here. Wudda day. My stu-stu-studio's generous corner window is framing these iridescent ploofs of lavendar right now. Oh and twenty four hours ago I thought today was a work day. Yup. Totally planning on going into the office. Silly leetle jew.

Around this time of year I'm forever questioning, "Wait, when is Christmas exactly this year (like it changes)? What's the date?" Pathetic. The actual dates of Christmas Eve and Christmas get all oily for some reason -- in my mind they fall somewhere in the range of the twenty first-ish through the twenty sixth-ish. Suppose I could memorize them, but secretly enjoy the annual guessing game -- an essential ingredient for keeping the holitimes funky fresh.

elf actualization

Happy Holidays from me and mine to you and yours

spirit fingers!! (and a pony)

"Everything -- even the problem itself -- is helping you to find a solution."

Hey so also maybe trot over to this website (abrahamhyperlinkin.org right now=me) for kewl designs and soothing aminal faces. That's right I said aminal. Deal wiz it. They've got owlies, fowlies, foxies and (obvi) poni-ies gah lore (also free shipping), if you're into those kinds of things, which (obvi) I am.

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The origonal idea behind "spirit fingers!!" being more or less a spiritual check-in, it's perhaps worth noting the precision with which this post registers my current spiritual temperature.

Split screen. One side an open hand graspy for wisdom or relief or gawd willing please both. For what else? Peace and fucking quiet. Other side a sticky hand, all petulant and grabby. For what? Stuff? Baby animals. Balm. Something slash anything new. But from the outside. Hence the grabbing.

Beeg questions today.

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Hilly: "Let's try to figure out who in Hollywood has AIDS."

A beat.

Smitty: "Do you think Johnny Depp has AIDS?"

queasy with love (steve martin edition)

"Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naiveté. That fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do."

"Through the years I've learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration."

"Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening."

-Steve Martin, Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life

(Loving. This. Book.)

Whet your parched palettes with dees refreshing round of Steve Martinis...

----> First chapter (NYT excerpt)

----> Men's Vogue review

----> Morning Edition interview

----> Entertainment Weekly review


Campy fav from the vault...



SNL monologue from 02/26/77...



"One can have, as it turns out, an affection for the war years."

dc is doing dees!!

No I'm not crying, dick. I'm watching Will E. Robo . Oh and I'm cutting an onion...


LADEEZ TAKE CARE OF YOUR FEET!!!

IT'S 2007!!

KEEP THIS SHIT REAL!!!

like, love, loath...

Like: Peppermint

Love: Bubblemint

Loath: Spearmint

what i did to the dog, part three

fail to plan, plan to flail

Concepts I'm struggling with today:


*****************

making plans
keeping plans
returning phone calls
holding the elevator
giant bugs
allison the intern's vacation
hydration

****************

the poon in the sky keeps on turning

Com 2 DEES show plz kthx!



also cuz i'm innit.

two eight today

It's my birthday and I gotta be honest -- not a lot's gettin' done work-wise...

Lunched for a too-long time at DC Coast with The Boss and The Ex-Coworker; Newt Gingrich was spotted enthusiastically (The Boss: "Hell-OH, Mr. Speaker [flirty blink-blink]").

Allison The Intern surprised me with an adorable desk-poster-card and we've listened to AIWFCIU nine (let's be honest, so far) times.

Thanks shleefunk era for the precious suggestions...

What's making me the happiest today is:

*Googly-imaging Miss Piggy, star of my first birthday party, first birthday cake, and whose soft, smooth, pink plastic snout comforted my tiny lips for I don't even know how many years? Too many years.

*Napoleonically dictating that Allison "play me songs!" Songs I think she won't be able to find! Like Someday! By Mariah Carey!

*Wishing mom a Happy Birthday. It's her day too.


ALRIGHT STOP: PIGGY TIME.

sad but inspiring...

Thank you for your service , fwend.

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.

You will be dearly and wildly missed.

snow yes

Tanya snowin' me some love today...


"It is snowing here. I mean like snowing. Earlier it was big fat flurries that made cartwheels all the way down. The chubby-kid cartwheels were replaced and the new team of flakes are of the more efficient, fast runner type with the small, compact bodies made for fast travel. Oh yes."

all i want for christmas is jew

From the Dept. of Shameless Fwend-Promotion: jingle your bells over to this essay from WaPo's Sunday Style & Arts section while enjewing this delicious jammy-bean ...

spirit fingers, colbert sorbet (limited) edition

"Don’t be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow. Saying yes leads to knowledge. "Yes" is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes."

and a refreshing laughter dinner mint under dees photo over here...